Spices across borders

19 September 2010 - After a long discussion over the mexican spice with a new friend, I end up at dominoes for my dinner . With the 200% intention of flaunting my new learning, I tell my friends – “Do you guys know exactly what is jalapino actually pronounced as!” They give me the "how many times will correct us" look telling me that I have been telling that j is silent for ages now.

I put my hat and glares on and with a smug expression and tell them, No it’s actually " hah- la - PEN -yo". And before I realize the course of discussion and what those amused facial expressions mean, I am standing in front of the order counter and this time not only to order my favorite dip but also try my new found discovery. With all style and elan I tell him

“One garlic bread with "hah-la- PEN - yo" dip . “

Blank expression.

Repeat::” One garlic bread with "hah-la- PEN - yo" dip . “

“Maam I am sorry, but we don’t have that.”

I go back one step with a sigh: “Garlic bread with a-la-peno dip . Please note my friend standing next to me has already started giggling and gurgling.”

Now he shows me the menu and tells me as a matter of fact "Maam we have only two dips - cheesy dip and jalap-π-no dip “

And then I finally remove my hat and glares and tell him with a look of disappointment: "Ok give me garlic bread with jalap-π-no dip, I will manage."

And before I realize me and my friends are bursting with laughter and it becomes the story of my day! But leaves wondering between” adopting purist, correct or authentic” and “adapting to localized pronunciations, habits and tastes”.

Twenty Five plus something

Let me take you through the world of a girl who just stopped looking like other girls to all sundry and important around her. The girl who no longer is a”simple” girl but a “single” girl and needs to get her act together. Ladies and gentleman I introduce you to someone who just crossed over to the other line of her twenty’s in this country called India.

The scene of this movie begins right at her home. Home, where every nook and corner vibrates with the discussion of her growing up and project” matrimony” that needs to be undertaken. Cooking suddenly becomes the most important chapter to be taught for the harried mother. The correction of the latch of her cupboard is postponed indefinitely as the poor girlie has to soon pack her bags anyways. All rights to television remote are given while little siblings snigger after cracking her marriage joke. The confused girl at all such moments gets surrounded by the clouds that make her hazy and more perplexed.

Scene cut to office lunch table. The professional office meant to have an alienation with her personal life has every table on the cafeteria questioning about her big plans. “ At your age I had a kid but my sister also talks like you” tells one. “25 is just the right time” come the words of wisdom followed by personal regrets of someone who took the step at big and old 27 and can’t plan kids easily. Kids, innumerous roles, responsibilities, ageing and here goes the endless banter over a woman’s ticking biological clock. And the girl is surrounded by hazy clouds of perplexity.

Friends are the next scene on the big screen.”I would know in a second” says a close colleague. “Click is the word which just happens” preaches the just recently engaged acquaintance. “Date for at least six months “recommends a best buddy. “ What if you never fall in love with the one “the buddy explains in an animated style. “You choose safely “counsels her dear girlfriend. Face book turns red and white and fellas ping on Gtalk asking for developments half expecting you to reveal your in-progress marital status. And the award winning is the one when she is asked to be as open and as careful as she is for choosing just the right pair of boots. Do I mention the clouds of haze that visit her after every such discussion!

And how do I forget the wedding, visiting, super concerned and sensitive relatives especially the aunties with potbellies and hairstyle of seventies whose favorite line is “are you looking for someone for your daughter, its high time you see”. “The next is your number” , the famous playful teasing followed by a silly grin. And here follows the Pandora ’s Box of advices and discussions. The courtship period that should be allowed or not be allowed. The right way to look for someone or what’s more important to look at. “Take care of family and qualification and rest would follow” says the one who has seen it and done it all. “No siblings” as the perfect imperfect situation to amount of travel done abroad. ” I tell you they lose morals” is retorted by “they are smarter”. “Too smart are not adequate marriage material ji.” tells the one in green , no red , no blue saree or whatever . And the same clouds visit the perplexed girl all around her.
And you if you thought that was it, then I must make you meet the doctor who looking at the zit on her face gives a prescription and quips “I understand it’s the face of a girl of a marriageable age” nodding with a look of genuine understanding at the parents who are made to realize the staring fact for the umpteenth time.

Advices galore and she tosses between her sheets wondering about the time when just a flower or a phone call from the latest crush was enough a reason to fall in love and dream. In midst of this chaos and madness is lost what she really wants. Is marriage not a promotion of love which was to be consuming, irrational, and spontaneous and stupid she ponders to sleep for another day/movie with different scenes but the same hazy clods of perplexity all around.

Twenty Five Plus something

Bidding Adieu…

What is that good in goodbye I always ponder, an act in itself so tough. Leaving behind what we had making every moment that rough …

To the loved one parting with whom is the condition on you that heaven imposed…
To the relationship that has already run its course …
To the adobe you lived in for years …
To that pair of jeans or the dress which was so dear …
To a way life as it now can only be a new way …
To that part of you that has outgrown the very you…

But then thinking about it all again I wonder, if adieu really ensued …
Aren’t the moments, people and possessions sheltered in the memory forever? So are the conventions of nature that consistency never stays for long. All the bad and the wrongs fade with time .What’s left are those special moments and what was right.

Lounging by myself … what a liberation!

Not adhering to the norms of eating out with a set group or at a set time, I often end up in the cafeteria with my lunch and exchange of pleasantries with unknown or little known people. Some tiring days are the ones when one doesn’t want to be pushed into a forced conversation and here is when I prefer indulging deep into my savouries and blankness.

“Hey, whom do you eat lunch with? Why don’t you join us on lunch from tomorrow. Our team is the largest on the floor and the amount of noise we make you would know when we go for lunch” offered a co-worker. “Sure I will definitely join you if we are eating at the same time” I replied in an attempt to be polite to an absolutely unconvincing offer.

“You can always give me a call when you want to shop the next time. I would love to accompany you.” Said a relative I accidentally bumped into on my shopping spree. “I’m sure you would not have the patience “I tried being witty. But the truth is that for the shopping me who finds post purchase confusion irritating and knowing all options is essential before taking out a shilling , shopping alone saves the trouble of feeling guilty in making the other person walk miles for that one pair of plain Jane jeans .

And then the final straw to the two day events. A lovely rainy day was a perfect time to de-stress by walking down the widest road of the city inhaling the breeze deep inside to every part of me. This indulgence could not be complete without biting into mayonnaise filled Mc veggie and oodles of fizz. Sitting on the glass pane staring at the rain gulping those extra calories I was in the perfect me time mood when it happened!

My phone buzzed “where are you “questioned a close one.” Enjoying a good day “, I replied excited. “Aha with whom?” said the teasing tone ”No-one “ and alas came the reaction , “ I was free tomorrow , we could go out tomorrow.” and it went on with the person finding it pitiful to not have the companionship of dual mastication.

Suddenly I realized that everybody passing through the glass pane stared right at my face. The person sitting next to me stared with curiosity…And here I got to thinking .

Why a person on his own especially when eating out considered a strange phenomenon. Is it that people see him as a friendless looser or is it that they can’t understand the independent associated with it? Why is it that my mother always said, “I really wanted to eat that but then I was alone; may be sometime we’ll go “.

And then I remembered, Was that exactly not how I viewed things few years back. Like many others I also took support of digging into books, television, dialing random people to keep talking on phone when manducating alone was first affected on me. They were all ways to put the friendless loser stigma associated with eating alone to rest, I realize today.

Today when it’s neither important nor necessary, I enjoy the living urge to eat out alone. And believe me my friends who still shy away, it is indeed a liberation and independence when you start looking straight and enjoy your meal outside on your own without any book, friend or mobile.

I believe....

[ Please Note : Not writen by me , But liked it so much that wanted to include in my blog]

I Fall and I pick myself
I lose hope yet I dream
I get lost and find myself again
I cry and laugh through my tears
I depair but I believe...............

Its rain and rain, what a wonderful feeling I am happy again!!!

After the days’ struggle to meet my deadline, I decided to take a walk outside for a while. Leaving my quintessential relationship with my system behind I stood and walked away from the wooden doors, uncontrolled air conditioners, cubicles and deadlines; towards the door. I was just about to step out when I heard the noise of sprinkling water. And here it was … It was raining!!

The smile kept increasing in size with every droplet falling on the ground. I threw away those binding high heels, forgot the decorum of formals and rushed myself towards the sky’s mercy. I could feel every drop on my face. As my clothes dampened I wanted to be drenched even more. The quest kept increasing.

“So enjoying the rain?“ questioned another smiling face that came to stand by the door to beam with the downpour. “Yeah “I said moved out of my open eyed trivial day dreaming. Yes my dear fellas, I could only smile. Giving another broad smile I decided to go back to be tied again with my system , deadline and air conditioner .On my way I remembered when every rain meant playing ”chapak chapak” with friends . Who cared about the classes that needed to be revisited or restaurants that have to go to or clothes that would get spoiled?

May be that’s what’s growing up, I told myself and unlocked the lovely machine. Not yet over from the sense of ennui, I delved into the world of networking. And here they came “ Yeh mausam bada baimaan hai”…” Badalon ke honth khule...kuchh meethe bol chale!!”…. “ Lovely rains “… And I realized it is not only me. So was the status of all as per the writings on my facebook wall.

What is it that weather has to do with our moods and that too so much that it can uplift you in a blink for no rhyme or reason, I wondered. Rains are fun, rains are romantic, rains are relief … and the list goes on. And then I saw the faces of those buddies of mine who according to national news must be wading themselves through dirty waters in the financial capital. But then were they not waiting desperately for the same a month back and is it just gratuitous amount that’s troubling them.

So anything that is too available is not worth it anymore, I resolved remembering the irritation I would have with never ending showers for last two years.” Wouldn’t that be the case with everything?” I pondered. People who are readily available, the food that’s there at hand’s reach, the jobs that we have , “ meeting with Mr. XYZ “ beeped the outlook . …

Digressed again! I cursed myself and decided to just close the thought with the best statement ever - “Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.”